Farmer Bob's Magical Pumpkin Patch

 Winner of the Brentwood "Yard Beautiful" Award for 2003! 

Just a few weeks ago, we were surprised one morning to see a few teeny weenie pumpkins seemingly growing from nothing in the middle of farmer Bob's tomato grove next door. Day after day they continued to grow. Farmer Bob is, after all, a farmer but how does he get pumpkins from tomato (that's the same as a tomatoe, for all you 'publicans out there) plants?

Soon the pumpkins began sprouting various other appendages - a carrot here, a flag there, even a questionable pickle which was eventually eaten by the neighborhood woodchuck. Is farmer Bob conducting some weird genetic experiements on Pumkins?

The little boy from down the street came by a few days ago to deliver the items I bought from him to raise money for Mark Twain School. He asked, "Are your neighbors a little strange?" "No," I said. "What makes you say that?" We haven't seen that little boy since.

Some of the pumpkins are remarkably patriotic. One stands above the rest as a singular silent scream sorta scarecrow, perhaps to keep the woodchuck away, perhaps auditioning for a better part in life.

Some of the pumpkins are born with writing on them. Not "$4" like the ones at the grocery store, but dire warnings like "No Trespassing", "George Lee Jr. is Dead", "Live Free or Die!" and "Remember the Alamo!" It's really kinda creepy. Somebody please call the Police!

No, really! I'm really afraid to go out of my house! I can hear them out there talking.

They're everywhere now. They're calling to me! I don't want to go!

I don't want to go!

Somebody!

Anybody!

Please Help me!

HELP!